only you would photoshop your dick
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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