dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
