Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
