We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
