That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
