U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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