it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
