literally had 100 drinks last night.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
