Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
