I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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