after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
