i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
