Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
