Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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