The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
