just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
