quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
