Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
