do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
