yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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