didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
