well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
