he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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