Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
where are my eyebrows?
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