Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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