yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
