my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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