I need help removing her.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
being pregnant is like rehab
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
