Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
