I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
4 words: hood of his car
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
