Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
