We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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