he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
