Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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