belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
