She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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