3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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