Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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