Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
