I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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