she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
