so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
