Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I want to fling myself into the sun
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
