I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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