Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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