I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i would punch a child for taco bell
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
There are leaves in my underwear?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
