I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
