it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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