Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize