i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
