guys are not supposed to queef...right?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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