smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
