He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
