I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
