Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
