Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
