At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I want to have your abortion
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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