There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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