we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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