can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize