All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
