did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You pole danced in your parka.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
