fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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