He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
third nipple confirmed
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
