Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
