Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize