You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
