Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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