I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize