grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
