My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
