I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
