i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
