Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
