you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
