It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
the day after is always just damage control
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
