I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
