dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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