I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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