windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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