i will never coherently bang her
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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