At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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