i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
