Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize