he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm always down for nudity.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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